I know, I never came back to post any updates on my treatments, or anything else that I’ve been doing in the last year. Every time I thought to write about my cancer journey, I just couldn’t bring myself to sit down and do it. I’m just not interested in reliving that experience — though I’ll probably have to relive it eventually anyway, thanks to my genetic mutation. One of these days, I do still want to write up a full review of the Paxman Cold Cap, because I feel like everyone who has to have chemo should know about it (I did still have a lot of shedding, but I had enough hair left that no one could tell that I had cancer. At least that’s what everyone said to my face). That review will probably go on one of the HubPages network sites, where people will actually be able to find it from their search engines.
I finished my AmeriCorps term and I’ve been employed at the same organization where I served for the past year. I also finished my CDA course, passed the test and observation, and received my credential.
Since my cancer diagnosis, I’ve been getting back into spirituality. I debated whether I should discuss this type of thing on my public blog. I’ve been drawn to the goddess Inanna since I was in my early teens. While in treatment, I recalled the myth of Inanna’s descent. This story became a source of inspiration to keep me going. I’ve gone through many different phases of spiritual seeking throughout my life, but Inanna has always been the deity I turned to for guidance. There is much more to it that this, but I’m going to keep it short for this post.
At the same time, I was discussing spirituality with a friend who was also in the midst of her own breast cancer journey. I met her over a decade ago at a Buddhist meditation class. She was also interested in paganism and started inviting me to pagan events with her. I had been thinking about getting involved with the larger pagan community for decades, but was a bit intimidated. What if non-pagans think I’m crazy? Or discriminate against me? What if pagans think I’m just a “fluffy bunny?” (I haven’t really seen that term used in years, but that seemed to be a valid concern when I first dipped my toes in the pagan world as a teen). What will my husband think? I wasn’t too concerned what other friends/family would think, however. Only Hans stood by me during my cancer battle, so no one else really gets a say in what I include in my life (not that they did before, but you know what I mean).
So anyway, meeting other pagans helped me feel more comfortable in practicing more publicly. There aren’t a whole lot of people out there who follow Sumerian deities like Inanna, but I’ve recently found there is a small community of Mesopotamian pagans out there. A few weeks ago I attended an online conference called IshtarFest, and it was amazing! I’m also going through the initiatory rituals in Rod and Ring: An Initiation into a Mesopotamian Mystery Tradition by Samuel David to deepen my practice and to become better acquainted with the deities.
I also recently found a book and YouTube series to learn to read the ancient Sumerian language, so I’m working on that right now too. I want to be able to read the original Sumerian myths someday (and be able to say “that’s not what the cuneiform says!” when ancient astronaut theorists make their crazy claims!)
Oh, and I’ve had pink hair since September. I cut my hair way shorter than its ever been (above shoulder length) before starting chemo because people said that the cold cap would probably work better with shorter hair, something about less weight being less strain on the follicles or something? idfk. Anyway, I hate it so short. But I like it pink, so it’s going to stay pink at least until it grows back out to its normal length. Some people might think I’m too old for crazy hair, but they’ve got it all wrong. Since there’s a good chance I won’t live long enough to have a proper “eccentric old lady” phase, I’m having my eccentric phase now.
Sorry for the title. I did not resist the millennial urge to post (not so) cryptic song lyrics…